The best of us can find happiness in misery

I am always proud of myself for training. Because it's ALWAYS a struggle to go do it. I rarely think "oh gee, I just cant wait to go run/hop on my trainer/whatever". Once I'm out there doing it, I'm fine. It's just the getting out there part that is hard. I always have to have a little discussion with myself about the benefits of doing it, versus the negative aspect of not doing it. But some days I'm more proud of myself than others. Saturday was one of those days.

I had 12 miles planned, and I actually HAD been looking forward to it. Finally getting up in the higher mileage makes me happy. But, it was fuggin cold on Saturday. It was fuh-REE-zing. After my alarm went off, I stayed in bed for probably 20 minutes debating with myself about whether or not to go. Since it was the last run of the winter session, I figured I had better go though. So I got all bundled up and headed out. I'm not sure of the exact temperature, but I'd guess it was around 15 degrees. Oh, and did I mention the wind? Or the fact that it was a relatively hilly course? Fantastic.

We actually had a pretty large group because Eladio had opened it up to the Spring session participants, and a lot of them showed. Which was surprising, since it was so cold. My thought process during the whole ordeal went a little something like this....

Start-0.5 mile: Oh shit, I am going to get hypothermia and die, and probably frostbite on at least 50% of my body. I'm turning around now.
0.5 mile-mile 1: Ok, we're in the woods, there is no wind, I'm starting to warm up, this isnt so bad!
Mile 1-2: Holy mother of God! My ass is frozen and I'm going to die! I'm turning around now.
Miles 2-5: Ok, this isnt THAT bad, there are people to talk to, everyone is commenting on how badass my IM jacket is, I'm glad I showed up.
Mile 5-6: Fuck this half mile hill, fuck this wind, fuck running! I am turning around now.
Mile 6-7: Dear God, please let me die a quick death right this instant and put me out of my misery.
Miles 7-9: **laughing to self at all the lazy effers who stayed home in bed while I am out being a badass running 12 miles in the freezing cold on a Saturday morning**
Mile 9-10: Oh no, face is too frozen to talk without excruciating pain. Am pretty sure skin on cheeks is going to be cracked when I finish.
Mile 10-11: I am truly going to die. Right here on the spot. I hope someone notices my frozen carcas laying on the side of the rode and notifys my family of my untimely death.
Mile 11-12: Sweet Jesus, I am almost done! I love running, this is the best thing ever! I am going to run in the cold every night this week!!

Somewhere towards the end of the run, we were talking about what "runners high" is. For me, it is getting to the last mile of a long run and realizing that I am almost done and will be able to sit down and stop moving soon. Whoever said that acutally running gives you some sort of high was full of shit. Getting done is the best part. I'd also like to retract an earlier statement I made about liking to run in the cold. Because, I dont. I guess I had forgotten about how bad it sucks.

But, I did feel really good after I finished. I was really happy that I had drug myself out of bed to go run, despite the fact that it was 3 hours of sheer misery. After I got home, I stayed all bundled up, gloves and all, because I just couldnt stop shivering. It took me a good half an hour to get warmed up enough to stop shaking. It felt like the cold was just coming out of my bones. Then I felt like complete ass the rest of the day, even Chipotle didnt help me feel better. I dont know if it was the distance or the cold or a combination of the two, but I was completely wiped out. I better get used to it! We have this weekend off, then next weekend the spring session starts, and I dont have anything less than a 10 mile long run until the OKC marathon at the end of April. Cant wait!